If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
