ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
