I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
