Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
