I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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