I need help removing her.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
