barbara walters just said penis...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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