My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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