sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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