im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
