clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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