drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
