Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
cat food counts as protein by the way
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I will pee on everything he values.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Randomize
