Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
