Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
