May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
not ubering you a puppy
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
