Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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