North Korea, Best Korea!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
