I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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