I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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