Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
