Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
