He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize