that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
