grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
zippers are such a cool invention
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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