return my video game
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
