I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
