And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize