i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
