I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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