I'm going to jail i love you
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
