ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
