I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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