What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
