I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
