Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
