$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
