Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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