Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
