Please, let me fuck your mom
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
