I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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