Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
