How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
