dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
