I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
