We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
