dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
