I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
