then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
