he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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