So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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