called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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