I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
