he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
