Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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