Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
