He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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