I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
