dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
