Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Randomize
