How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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