Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
