i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize