everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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