I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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