just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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