So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
