Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
