Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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