If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
