Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
