We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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