i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
