ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
